The Gift of Self-Effacing Laughter

Somewhere in our past, the great people of the U.S. learned how to laugh at themselves. Maybe it was because we hail from different corners of the globe, or maybe it is because our forefathers didn't like their place in their native countries...but whatever it is, we learned that humor is a good way to diffuse tension. I make fun of you, you make fun of me...that way, we hurt and laugh in equal portions. Humor has a way of cutting through the P.C. B.S. and striking at the heart of our issues with 'others'; other races, other religions, other nationalities, other political ideologies. If you dish it out, you have to have the good sportsmanship to take it back.

'Others' often threaten us. Why? Because we are forced to define and defend who we are. This isn't a recent problem...this goes all the way back to the dawn of time. Whether it is groups of people, groups of animals, or even groups of planets...it is important to define who and what we are, and where our territories and boundaries are.

There is a world of difference between a conservative in NYC and one in TX, just as there is between a liberal in Utah and one in California. It isn't easy standing out in a crowd, and it isn't easy taking the opposite viewpoint when you are hopelessly outnumbered. But somehow, people manage to do it every day. In Yiddish, it's called 'Chutzpah,' in American English it's called 'balls.' Is there any Imam or Muslim out there with this sort of moxie? Is there a Islamic comedian who can pull a William Shakespeare and show us that the pen is mightier than the sword? Is there a Jerry Seinfeld living in Iraq or Egypt? Is there a Second City TV group in Jordan? Even an inter-religion Brady Bunch would help, as it could switch between serious and comic sides of family life. The point is - we have all got to learn to get along because I don't see any major cultural group disappearing any time soon.

Remember the rule...you highlight my shortcomings, I highlight yours...we both hurt equally, we both laugh equally...and eventually, we're a bit more tolerant and respectful of other peoples differences. This process stings sometimes, but it is far less destructive than blowing people up, or inciting mob violence on an innocent people. And who knows, in time, we may be able to call each other 'friend.' The best banquets have a little bit for everyone, and no one goes away hungry!

C.S. Lewis's series 'The Chronicles of Narnia' had a poignant moment in the 7th book, The Last Battle. In it, a soldier who had faithfully worshipped the god Tash found himself in the perfect Narnia. He was confused because the god Tash he was praying to was not the deity who he found in this perfect world. Instead, his loyal faith and good generous nature was claimed by Aslan - who represents purity and goodness. Aslan explained that devotion, purity, generosity, and belief in one's faith puts everyone on the same path to the same heaven...we are, for a lack of better terminology, spiritual cousins regardless of our relgious practices.

Back in the 70's, shows like All in the Family, S.N.L., and Chico and the Man ruled the television. Here, people came face to face with 'others,' faced their fears, and found out - 'Hey, they're not much different from me.' Shows like 'Good Times' and 'Welcome Back Kotter' gave those of us in the 'burbs an idea of urban living, while 'The Waltons' and 'Little House on the Prairie' gave a taste of rural living. Were any of the depictions fully accurate? Probably not. But the point is, we all learned something about people who lived differently.

It is human nature to be threatened by other ideas or lifestyles. Why? Because each of us have established our own pattern for survival, and each of us thinks that we have it all figured out. Anyone who lives differently, with different ideals, threatens the stability of society, or so we believe. Within cultures that are threatened by change - the 'others' take on a sinister persona, and not surprisingly, violence erupts. In cultures, such as ours, where cultural diversity is an inherent part of our society, the 'others' are merely someone to peacefully protest against or verbally abuse through various media...rarely does it resort to physical violence. We can not turn our backs on thousands of years of social evolution...we are genetically hard wired to quickly determine between good and bad, between friend and foe, between right and wrong. This is the most basic survival skill taught to us by our parents (avoid strangers, don't cross the street when a car is coming, eat healthy food not candy.) Fearing, even loathing 'others' is something we have to learn to control...it doesn't come naturally because it is closely linked to our inate desire to survive. Merely saying 'you're my new best friend because I love everybody' isn't what I'm writing about....this stuff is tough, difficult, and painful to overcome - and if you aren't hurting, you are not doing it right. Your concept of who YOU are has to be examined and redefined many, many times...much like a Buddhist working towards enlightenment.

We have to step outside of ourselves occasionally and view the world as a large, squabbling human family. Will we always get along? No. Will we always agree? No. If we all did what a boring world it would be! But there are some basic truths about our human family.

1) Parents want their children to succeed.
2) Parents want their children to love them, respect them, and seek their advice.
3) Parents want their children to be individuals, but not so individual that they can't brag about them with their neighbors.
4) Parents want their children to adhere to the faith (or non-faith) they were raised with.
5) Some people are greedy.
6) Some people are generous.
7) Some people are cold.
8) Some people are warm.
9) Some people get off on manipulating others.
10) Some people are easily manipulated.
11) Some people blame others for their misfortune.
12) Some people realize that they alone control their destiny.
13) Everyone has the capacity to love and bond with someone else, or some object.
14) 99.9999% of us think that we are good, kind, generous, and right 99.9999% of the time.
15) Each minute of life is a precious gift, ask anyone who is on their death bed.
16) Every single person in this world is part of what I call 'The Tapestry of Life.' (I'll define it further in a forthcoming blog.)
17) All of us mourn for those that die too young.
18) All of us were born.
19) All of us will eventually face death.
20) All of us feel safer when we belong to a group.
21) Socially, nothing is more enjoyable than a good belly laugh with friends.

Whether it is South Park or Seinfeld, or real life experiences, we've learned that humor strengthens our bond to 'others.' We use humor within our groups and between related groups. The next step is to take it to groups that have little in common accept the list above. ;)

It will be a painful process, with swift advances and hasty retreats. It will take a multitude of voices. It will take chutzpah. It will take vision. It will take a great love for humanity and the future of humanity. It will start when someone out there realizes that the world isn't getting any larger, and we are all stuck on this earth together, whether we like it or not.

Is the world ready for global humor?

It will take a very long time, maybe thousands of years, before vastly different cultures become close friends...but just think about how many belly laughs we will have along the way!

Here is Barry Farber's original column -

http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2006/3/7/141154.shtml